Long time no speak! I realized the other day how long it’s been since I last posted to my blog, where has the time gone people?? I can’t believe how quick this year has gone; it feels just like yesterday since it was turning into 2010.
So much has happened this year, it’s almost surreal to even think about it all now, looking back. I feel like I’ve grown a little inside my head these past few months, like a part of me is real to my heart once again. I dunno if that makes sense, its 08:20am and I’m running on 8 hours sleep in 3 days at the moment.
Gemma (my sis in law) and my brother Tom are off to the hospital today to have a baby! Well to get it started anyway, Lilly Mae, all being well it’s a girl as I have brought only girl things! Lol.
So I'm majorly excited about being an auntie again, I’m glad I’ll be getting to see more of Lilly Mae growing up than I did my other nephews and Niece, they live further away and their mom doesn’t drive so its not like when they were born she could just pop in for a coffee…
Either way I love them and have a bond with them like you wouldn’t believe, their my life. The picture below was drawn by my niece Tamara, the day before Bonfire night and just before we took her to fairy school.
The picture below is from the fairy school experience we took her on. She looks so adorable and strangely the spitting image of me when I was young….
That was awesome; on a side note my dad’s doing well by the way, he looks a lot healthier than he did before we found out about eh bowel cancer return. We still have to be concerned about the lump on his kidney, but so long as it doesn’t grow and fester, we’ll hopefully make it through.
I don’t really have much else to talk about on any other subject; my personal life is okay, as ever I’m lost in my own little world, wondering where I fit in, in the real world. I watched this the other day:
And Towards the end, when it starts to get mushy…Okay look away now if you don’t want to see spoilers for Shrek 4……………
When Fiona’s leaning down over Shrek, after he saves her and the other Ogre’s, when his day is almost up and he’s about to fade into non-existence, there’s an exchange of words between him and Fiona before Shrek says…And I quote…
“You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with you…All over again.”
I don’t know why or how, because I’m never really that sentimental in Shrek films, but that touched my heart and made me sob. In fact the whole of that ending sequence made me sob and I felt like someone was ripping my heart out.
There’s been a few times in my life, where I’ve wished I could relive that one moment in my life, that one special infinite moment that you wish for as a child, especially as girl child.
But that one statement, that one line from Shrek, even though it touched my heart, it also made me realize how much in the past I’m living. When you’re a young girl, you believe in fairy tales and dreams come true, even without the magic of Disney, every girl believes she’s gonna grow up to be either rescued by her handsome prince charming on white steed or find out she really is a princess, or marry a prince or whatever, but there’s that one defining moment in every girls life when she realizes…Well she realizes that fairy tales aren’t real, their just made up things to keep kids quiet for half an hour, or to make them go to sleep or to…Make them feel special I guess for a few minutes.
It’s like when you find out Santa Claus isn’t real, or the tooth fairy…Not to say I believed in that stuff forever, I found out young. I think my obsession with living in a dream world started actually when I was young and my brother told me once that Santa Claus wasn’t real and dad ate the cookies and carrots.
I think that was the first time in my life that I remember ever feeling the true horror of this world, it was awful. Anyway, I guess we all have to learn and wake up to reality at some point, but I guess in my heart, I always believe that one day I’ll wake up and my prince charming will be waiting for me.
My first thought after thinking that after watching that bit in Shrek, was that I had to stop believing in the fairy tales Disney promote and start living in the real world, but if that means making myself believe I’m not as complete as I should be for a girl my age, if that means I have to stop believing in dreams can come true part of my brain…
Well I think I’d rather be called an ugly loner, hermit with no friends and completely disillusioned. If there’s one thing I always carry it’s that I know I couldn’t bring a child into this cruel world, wherever the child I could have had is, I know that at least there its not make believe, dreams come true wherever they are and how awful would it be to rip them out of that existence and force them to live in this world?
Maybe it’s healthy to believe in your dreams.
I’ll be back soon with baby photo’s, as soon as I get a chance to snap some anyway ;)
Take care all speak soon!
