His Possession

Right now as I sit here writing this to you I am someones possession. He doesn't care about me, he wouldn't care if I fell and bumped my head. He wouldn't even blink if I walked past him in the street. His wife doesn't know about me. That's how he wants it. He tells me I can't say anything and he means it. I love to watch him speak. I'm being crazy. I'm stupid for letting this happen. I want to speak out but I don't know how. I want to tell everyone what he does. But I am secluded I am lost and afraid. He only wants me then once he's done he tosses me aside like a used rag and walks away back into his family life like nothing ever happened. Yet I'm still sitting here on the floor, his used rag doll. Tears streaming down my face as I catch my reflection in the broken glass on the floor. I reach for my iPod and boot up blogger... It's my only release until next time... I sit watching out the window at the rain and his face appears in my head, my body trembles. His eyes pierce my skin, my clothes as I know he's watching me from behind. I feel his hands on my shoulders...He's here again. Here we go again... I love him. He hates me. Am I a bad person for actively engaging and being the slut or slapper in this three way relationship? Probably. I'm scared of him, terrified of his touch as he tells me what he'll do if his wife finds out, more specifically to me as he lives not far away. Whoever thought someone from our group "Borderlands" could be so evil and manipulative? Here he is, ready for round two then? Blogger...