Climb Ev'ry Mountain

Hey all how's it goin'?


Started to make a video tonight but I'm way too tired to be messing about with it, it's been a looong day at work today. So here I am again writing this up, scoring one more brownie point for the ol' "write a new post" section.

It's been a hectic past few weeks really to say the least, one thing or another keeps happening to make this sail boat either sail smoothly or twist and turn in a horrible messy storm.

Got a few things on my mind right now, few things I wanna talk to someone about but I dunno who or even more importantly - how. The last little while, dad's not been his usual self, every day when I get home from work I'm updated with the events of what's been going on with 'dad' today.

Don't get me wrong I love my dad more than anything in the world, but when I hear people telling me - even when he tells me himself that he's getting forgetful, that he's feeling more and more down and drained and that he's worried about his health, his frame of mind...I cant help but try and block it out.

That's the trouble with me, whenever I get a problem or a problem occurs that could be really serious I block it out and force myself to believe and sometimes others that it's not happening. I don't want to think about the prospect that one day my dads gonna die - who does? But it's like every one's...I dunno I really don't. I need to talk with my brother.

To try and lift his spirit's a bit I've booked me and him a day out at the Nottingham Trent Arena to see "Walking With Dinosaurs". I know he watched the program on BBC one and Discovery when it was on and he really enjoyed it, the live action version with Live Science Dinosaurs that are actually LIFE size seemed a great pick me up, but I'm starting to wonder if he's really looking forward to it or whether he's just saying it to make me happy.

I'm gonna try and get round to see my brother tomorrow night after work, have a chat with him, see what he says....

I'm really looking forward to my holiday in September, can't wait to get away from everything, it'll be a fantastic experience I know that for sure. My brother's birthday is coming up on the 11th June, I know what I want to get him - Guitar Hero Drum Set for the PS3, but getting hold of it is another matter, it's impossible to get a hold of and like usual I have left it to the last minute.

Apart from all the downers of this post I'm feeling okay, stable, I'm learning new steps every day and I'm becoming my own person once again, I think I'll be glad when I have the results of this next blood test.

Once again my white blood cells were high, another blood test is scheduled for June 22nd and hurrah June 23rd I'm off to the hospital and I know their gonna do more blood tests - maybe for different reasons but they might pick up on it as well, who knows.

I just want answers, what's wrong with me, it's my body don't I have a right to know? Hmm...

Anyway I'm following that rainbow right now, looking for my dream, hoping after each hope that the second half of this year will be much better than the first.

On a lighter note you'll be happy to know I passed my "think 25" training today at work whooo nothing special but I thought I'd mention it.

I ask you keep my dad in your prayers - I really could do with some support somehow on that subject and that would be more than grateful.


Thanks guys - speak soon. Take care xxx



Currently Listening To: Climb Ev'ry Mountain

Hit Em Up Style

Hey guys!

Thought I'd write this one out cos there were a LOT of "erm's" in the video I made =p
Besides it's about time I used the "write a post" section on the blog site! Seems all I do is video's now!

Anyway onto business! Had an absolutely fantastic time at my bro's! Spent a lot of time just basically relaxing and chilling out, time for myself as you do. Although I'm not ashamed to admit I was lonely at times, going bed early and getting up early because I kept knocking my head on the bed above! (Yes I slept in the kid's room and occasionally woke up in the night, sat up and whacked my head on the bunk bed above!)

I think I spent more time at home than I do when I live here, made social calls and "brew" calls at silly o clock at night, mind you I think mum and dad were just glad to see me, she says they missed me a lot and I can imagine that's so.

I think in a way I'm there "baby" so when I'm gone it's like their missing an arm or a leg. But don't get me wrong, most of the time they enjoyed not having to put up with my mood swings, especially in the morning, I'm NOT a morning person god damnit! haha

Overall I had a really awesome time, it gave me a chance to think, these ten days I had booked off, really gave me a chance to think about things and come to some interesting conclusions about certain aspects of my life, I found myself sitting out in the garden watching the sun set and it was almost surreal. Amazing what a glass of Lambrini can do!

So yeah a good time was had by me, myself and I! And I also look forward to staying there again when they go away again with the kids at the end of August, so more time at said brother's house!

I've got a pretty busy day tomorrow, got the blood test to go and have see what's going on with the white blood cells. Got to go to a garage namely "Parkers" to get a new headlight lamp for me car. Then of course I have work in the afternoon - on that note the new uniform is going down rather well I prefer it to the last uniform by far.

I haven't really got much else to say apart from that, I've been catching up with a few people I haven't spoken to for a while about random things, and really I have to say there's been some rather interesting gossip flying around and well I'm not name dropping but yeah...Little pieces of the puzzle are all starting to come together, it's all rather amusing, starting to figure out all the whys and how's of it all and well it's strangely making a very big picture.

On a more depressing note, "that guy" is back in my head again. Saw him the last few days and it's been hard to say the least, being bullied really isn't fun. Again I cant go too much into it on here so I'll leave that at that.

Well that about covers my boring life so I'm gonna head to bed and get some rest before the blood test! Take care my fellow people, I'll catch up with you very soon!



Peace all take care! xxx




Currently Listening To - Son Of Man - Phil Collins

Breathe - I'll Be Back!

Hey peeps!

Just wanted to mention the bit where I'm holding up the blood test appointment card and the hospital letter - they looked really clear on the webcam screen when I was holding them up to the camera but they don't look so good now for some reason...Anyway you got the most important bits =D



BE GOOD! See you in a few days :) xxxx



love ya! xxx

I'm Raving, I'm Raving

"I'm Raving"

Good evening!!

Put on my raving shoes and I boarded a plane.
Touched down in the land where the skies were blue,
in the middle of the pouring rain.
Everybody was happy, energy shining down on me.
Yeeeah, I've got a first-class ticket been as good as a boy can be.

I'm raving, I'm raving.
I'm raving til' the sweat drops fall down off me.
I'm raving, I'm raving.
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Yess!!
C'mon!
YEEEEAH!!

Put on my raving shoes and I boarded a plane.
Touched down in the land where the skies were blue
in the middle of the pouring rain.
Everybody was happy, energy shining down on me.
Yeeeah, I've got a first class ticket been as good as a boy can be.

I'm raving, I'm raving.
I'm raving til' the sweat drops fall down off me.
I'm raving, I'm raving.
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Yess!!
Wicked!
Wicked!
WICKED!
Give it up now!
Give it up now!
Give it up now!
YEEEEAH!!

I'm raving, I'm raving.
I'm raving til' the sweat drops fall down off me.
I'm raving, I'm raving.
But do I really feel the way I feel?
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Thank you!!!


Take Care All xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You Can Put The Blame On Me

My Angel

You’re my angel, sent from above
To guide me now, to fill me with love,
To give me pain, yes, and sorrow,
But then you take it away tomorrow!

I’m sorry I gave you memories full of tears,
Wish I could turn back those working gears,
I know you hurt, like I hurt too,
But together we can make it through!

If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
My angel I want you to know,
How much I love you so.



Take care all xxxxxxxxxxx