Walking Man's Road

Hey all,


I doubt this will be a long post, I'm kind of upset right now, it's been one of those days I'm afraid, you know as soon as you open your eyes and its dark outside that it's going to be one of them days where arguments are only a step away.

Sometimes I wonder why people argue, I know I'm really defensive, just lately I've been rebuilding these walls around my heart that got broken, that get broken every time I think about my life, or if I analyze why I'm not 'normal' like everyone else.

I feel like a part of me wants to be the popular wonderful person that everyone loves yet the bigger part of me, the side of me that nobody knows, doesn't care about that, she enjoys her life how it is, how she wants it to be, not how everyone thinks it should.

I'm so emotional, just lately I find myself crying at the most simple of things, its not just because 'its that time of the month' or because I'm being over-sensitive, I think it's because I have this inept ability of pissing myself off. Like when I argue with someone, I'll say things before I realize the impact it has on said person, then I regret it and end up crying about it.

I think that life throws us all these massive curve balls sometimes your thrown a lucky ball, something wonderful/brilliant/perfect/amazing or even simply good happens and that's great! But sometimes your thrown a bad ball, after all luck has to even itself out right? (Like for when something good happens to you something bad happens to someone, somewhere else?) So you get thrown this bad ball and it can be anything from a disaster to a simple argument, now this ball (like with the good balls) you can either turn into something good and positive and make the most of it, or you can try and fight it and end up loosing badly.

I think that's how it works, good balls and bad balls. Today I got a bad ball, one thing lead to another and it was like dominoes. I know it'll all be okay in the end, everything works out in the end right?

My brother amazes me sometimes, he has this way of making everything better, he just can say something to me and all of a sudden I see sense and I even don't feel like crying as much anymore.

And crying is the worse, you should never be afraid to cry, that's what I always tell my friends, my family or whoever. And you shouldn't, I can't cry in public, well I can but most of my crying is done in my room, in my security net, because this where I feel safe, where I can be me without any of the cons.

Okay guys I've been working on this post for too long now and my eyes hurt from crying so I'm gonna leave it there. Love you all xx

Remember life's too short for arguments!


Currently listening to - America - Man's Road